


Love and Pain

by LovingPipersBoys



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Domestic Violence, M/M, Rape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-05-28
Updated: 2012-05-28
Packaged: 2017-11-06 05:13:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/415084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovingPipersBoys/pseuds/LovingPipersBoys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone dreams of a perfect romance, but what should you do when it becomes a violent and terrifying nightmare? Jacob Black loved Emmett Cullen but will Emmett's brother Edward be able to show him what real love is and save him from this nightmare?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love and Pain

Love and Pain

Everyone dreams of a perfect romance, but what should you do when it becomes a violent and terrifying nightmare? I wish that I could give you the right answer for this one and tell you just how you can rid yourself of such evil, but I can't. In fact I'm still struggling with the decisions that brought me to this point and turned my life into the living hell that it is today.

It all started the day I met my husband Emmett Cullen. We met at a college party that was being thrown by his fraternity. I was a freshman and biology student at Washington State University. He was a senior there, set to graduate soon with his degree in sports medicine. I hate to sound cliché but it truly was love at first sight, at least it was for me anyway. I noticed him the second I entered the party with my best friend Bella. She was the best friend a guy could ask for and once she received an invite from her girlfriend Alice, she instantly thought to bring me along. At first I said no, not ready to deal with the jocks and the frat boys and the fact that I was still a bit closeted, as far as the student body was concerned, I was afraid that I would out myself by becoming arosed by all of those hot guys bunched together in one room. But Bella had insisted and told me that I was being silly. So, I finally broke down and caught a ride with them to the party.

Once I got there I felt like a fish out of water. Everyone was so freaking happy, drunk or deep into many of the debates and conversations that were going on in every corner of the room. I sighed and found myself a quiet spot and took a moment to survey the room. I had always been known as the shy guy, the one who stood off to the side with a drink in his hand and watched everyone else have fun. But that night, an angel had sent me the man of my dreams in the form of the 6'5" football player who happened to be Alice's older brother. Once I caught sight of him I couldn't help but stare. After a few minutes had passed, he must have felt my gaze upon him because he looked up suddenly, and began to search the room in order to find the person who's attention was focused on his every move.

That's when we locked eyes.

I had never felt so much tension in my life. I just knew that he was going to walk over to me and kick the "queers" ass for lusting after him. With every step that he took, my heart beat sped up to that of an wild animals who was running through the wilderness frantically. I was practially shaking as my breath caught in my throat as he stopped in front of me. I just prayed that his friends wouldn't join in and hurt me even more than he was about to.

This is not to say that I'm some puny kid that was going to lay on the floor in a ball and allow the assault to just take place without getting a few hits in myself. I was 6'2" with almost as much muscle mass as the football player but I was a little smaller than him. Now add that to the fact that he was a part time martial arts instructor and held a black belt and yours truly was in some seriously deep shit. However, I was shocked when he stood in front of me wearing a smile and extending his hand for me to shake as he introduced himself.

We talked for a while about school and sports as well as our likes and dislikes. The longer the conversations went on, the harder I fell for the man with the boyish grin and deep dimples. I smiled and laughed at his jokes all the while hoping like hell that he was playing for my team. He was handsome, charming and extremely rich which appealed very much to this poor boy who grew up on a reservation. At first I thought that he was straight as an arrow. In fact, everything about this man screamed "straight as fuck" from his muscular form, to his no nonsense attitude to his love for cars and all things sports related especially football, hockey and of course martial arts and kickboxing. Needless to say you wouldn't want to get on his bad side.

Something that I would discover the hard way later on in our relationship.

As the night progressed he introduced me to the members of his football team and to my surprise, they weren't all asshole like I thought they would be. We talked, played a little pool and kidded around a bit. It was awesome, I felt like part of the team.

After a while Bella and Alice let me know that they were leaving. When I went to say goodbye to Emmett and the rest of the guys, he told me that I could stay and that he would drop me off later if I did. I told him that I wasn't sure because I had work in the morning and it was already pretty late, but he promised that he would drop me off in an hour or two so, it wouldn't make that much of a difference. When I hesitated, he leaned in close and whispered that he would make it worth my while.

I froze and stared back at him, uncertain whether or not I should take the jock up on his offer. Sure he was hot, but I've heard way too many horror stories about gay guys getting set up by straight boys only to have their asses handed to them (and not in a good way) once they're true sexual orientation was discovered. If I were smart, I would have left and never spoken another word to him but I wasn't. I really liked someone for the first time in a long time since my ex-boyfriend Paul, and I didn't want to walk away from Emmett only to wonder what if. So, I said goodnight to the girls as they waved over their shoulders with Bella making kissing noises. I smirk and roll my eyes as she and Alice linked hands to a chorus of hoots and hollers from the guys in the room.

That night Emmett drove me home and walked me to my dorm room. Once we reached the door I extended my hand to him and thanked him for an awesome party and for brining me home. He shook my hand for a second and then the next thing I knew he had his body pressed into mine and my back was up against my door. He looked into my eyes and smirked as my cock picked that moment to come to life, fighting against the confinements of my jeans only to press into his thigh. I didn't know what to do.

Should I yell at him and push him off me? Or should I kiss him and hope like hell that he wasn't just fucking with me?

During my momentary distraction, the jock took advantage of the situation and crashed our lips together. They were soft and comforting but his movements were forceful and dominating. He licked the slit of my lips asking for permission to enter but I was so shocked I couldn't register just what the hell was going on. So instead of waiting for me to snap out of my trance, he bit my lip and thrust his tongue into my mouth as I gasped in pain. One of his hands gripped my hip, almost painfully, while the other was placed on the back of my head as he forced himself deeper into me.

I don't remember how long we stayed that way. I also couldn't tell you when or how I managed to open the door to my room, or how we ended up naked on my bed. What I can tell you is that Emmett was a force to be reckoned with in the bedroom. He instantly took charge, holding my hands above my head and placing himself on top of me. I was so young and inexperienced that I didn't dare say a word about how much it hurt when he entered me so roughly. I just held my breath and told myself to go with it and that I should be happy that someone like him would even want to touch someone like me.

It's not that I considered myself ugly or anything like that, but Emmett was a God here. He was perfect, he was rich, he was popular, he was everything that I wanted to be and more. When he was done I was surprised that he didn't just get dressed and leave. Instead he spooned up behind me, encircling my waist with one of his large, muscular arms and kissed me goodnight. He also told me that he had been watching me since the day I visited the school the year before when I was deciding whether or not I wanted to attend Washington State. He said, that he was very happy when he saw me at the party that night, and he was even more grateful when I flirted back with him and accepted his advances. He also joked, saying that I was his now and that he was never gonna let me go, that he wouldn't allow me to leave his side or his bed. I told him to stop being an ass and go to sleep, but deep down I was trying not to get too happy about his declaration. Did he really like me that much? Would he be willing to tell the world that I was his? I really hoped so and that night, I went to sleep with the biggest smile on my face.

The next day I awoke to an empty bed. I wasn't shocked that Emmett wasn't there but I have to admit, I was a little disappointed. I took a shower and got dressed for work. I hated working at that crappy ass bookstore but my night had been so perfect that nothing could ruin my day. As the hours dragged on all I could think about was Emmett. It was a Saturday and I wondered what he was doing. Was he at football practice? Was he studying (yeah right)? Was he teaching one of his classes? Was he somewhere just laying around thinking about me? I smiled at the thought. I couldn't believe that I had slept with the quarterback of the football team on the first night that I met him and now, I was sitting here daydreaming about him like some pathetic little school girl. I had to chill out and fast.

At that moment a cute guy entered the store and asked for my help. As we're talking about books and Native American history he begins to flirt with me. I smile and flirt back, after all I was a single guy and with the end of the semester and summer right around the corner, I was looking for a nice little summer fling. Who knows, maybe I would be able to find myself an actual boyfriend instead of stalking Emmett and dwelling on our one night stand. Besides, he was going to graduate soon and there's no way he would want to date some 19 year old college boy when he was getting ready to start his career.

The guy in front of me introduced himself as Mike. He was a sophomore who was studying computer science and wanted to start his own company once he was finished with school. We talked for a little while before he leaned over and touched my arm. He then asked me if I wanted to go out on a date sometime. I was about to answer him, when I was pushed backwards and almost knocked to the ground. I look up to find Mike laying on the floor holding his jaw and one very pissed off Emmett glaring at me. I have never seen anyone look as angry as he did in that moment. He yelled at me and accused me of cheating on him with random nobodies like "him" gesturing at Mike. I told him that I was sorry and that I didn't know that he had meant what he said the night before. I also told him that I could get in trouble for what he just did to a customer and that he needed to leave, and I would talk to him later. He shook his head, refusing to leave me alone. He then grabbed a chair and sat by the register until I got off work.

When I closed the store, we got in his car and headed towards the dorms. I became nervous when he didn't speak one single word. I was going to yell at him and demand to know what he was thinking when he attacked Mike, but I didn't want to upset him any more than he already was. In fact, I still liked him very much even after his outburst. Maybe I deserved the silent treatment, but that didn't mean that I had to like it.

Before I had the chance to say anything we pulled into the parking lot. He looked over at me and smiled. He told me to pack a bag and that we were going to a hotel for the evening and spend some time alone together. I was excited to hear this. Maybe he wasn't that angry with me, maybe we would have a chance to start over. That night we went to dinner and a movie. It was so much fun. Turns out, we had the same taste in movies as well as food. He even apologized for his actions earlier and promised to make it up to me. He also asked me to be his boyfriend so there would be no further confusion about where our relationship stood. We were moving so fast but I was so happy to be with someone like him that I didn't think twice about it or how possessive he was. That night we made love for the first time. He was so gentle and loving unlike the night he took my virginity. It was like the man that showed up at my job earlier that day had disappeared. I was grateful for this and I prayed that he would never show up again.

During the months that followed we had a lot of fun together. He was always so attentive to my needs. Whatever I wanted he made sure that I got it. When I had gotten food poisoning he took care of me. Often we would work out together at the gym, go on long hikes through the mountains, go out to dinner and sporting events, you name it we did it. And it was great that we didn't have to hide our relationship. His team mates knew that he was gay and so did Alice and his parents. Everyone was so happy for us and life couldn't get any better.

Graduation came around all too quickly for him. He said that he had been offered a job in L.A and that his parents had brought him a house there. I was so sad that I broke down and cried. I begged him not to leave me. He smiled at me and said that he wasn't going to. He told me that I could come live with him, and he would take care of me until I could enroll at U.C.L.A. I wanted to take him up on his offer so badly but I wasn't sure if that was something I should do. I knew that Emmett loved me and that he would take care of me, but we had only known each other for three months. Was I ready to seriously commit to him? I was so young, could I really handle being so far away from my family and friends? Could I trust Emmett enough to place my life firmly in the palm of his hands?

I weighed the pros and cons of such a decision for days until I decided to throw caution to the wind and follow my heart and my man to L.A. When I told Emmett he couldn't have been happier. We packed my things, grabbed my transcripts and hit the road. I just knew that things were going to be perfect. Emmett and I were starting our lives together and we were going to live by our own rules. There was nothing in this world that we couldn't face as long as we had each other.

I was wrong.

At first, things were great. Emmett made a lot of money with his new business and he also had inherited a lot of money from his grandfather. So we were very well off.

Our house was huge. I had never been in a place so big before, and now I living in a mansion with enough room to fit the entire population of the reservation in it.

Not only did we live the good life, but we shopped at the best stores and ate at the most expensive and upscale restaurants in L.A. I tried my best not to gawk at all of the celebrities that we came into contact with not only at these upper class eateries but at the parties we threw for Emmett's clients. We were on top of the world.

That's when Emmett's behavior started to change.

Every time I spoke about returning to school Emmett's expression would turn dark and he would tell me that he was more than capable of taking care of us and that I didn't need to go back to school. I told him that I didn't want to life off of him for the rest of my life and that I wanted to return to school so that we could be equals in our relationship. That way, the both of us would be contributing to our lifestyle and whatever else needed to be taken care of. He told me that I was being ridiculous. That I had been watching too much television and it was starting to mess with my head. However, the next time I brought it up, we were at a dinner with a few friends. One of the ladies talked about how she was returning to school to finish up her bachelors degree in psychology. I smiled, thinking that if Emmett heard this, then he would consider letting me return to school as well. I then made a remark about how I couldn't wait to return to school myself and how excited I was to earn my degree, that way Emmett wouldn't have to carry the household by himself. I turned my head to look at him and I couldn't help but notice how he tensed up and began to squeeze my thigh under the table. His grip was so rough that I winced in pain. He glared at me out of the corner of his eye and applied even more pressure. I was confused. I couldn't understand what I had done wrong. All I wanted to do was be independent and do something productive with my life. Was that so bad?

The car ride home was silent and I couldn't help but flash back to that day two years ago when we drove home from the bookstore after the Mike incident. This time his gaze didn't falter. When we pulled up to the house he didn't turn to me and smile like he had before. Instead he exited the car and slammed the door. He must have noticed that I hadn't moved yet so he walked over to my side and pulled the door open and told me to come on. I unfastened my seatbelt and he took me by the arm and dragged me up the front steps and flung me inside. I immediately stormed up the stairs towards our bedroom. I didn't know what was wrong with him but worse yet, I didn't know what he was going to do next.

Seconds later he enters the room and I turn around to face him. I asked him what was wrong with him and why he had hurt me back at the restaurant. His answer came in the form of a punch in the face. The force knocked me on my ass. I tried to shake it off as I looked up at him from my position on the ground, the taste of my own blood covering my tongue. He then yelled at me. Calling me an ungrateful bastard. He said that he's work hard to take care of me and how I was disrespecting him in front of his friends, employees and clients, making it look as if he couldn't afford to take care of us. I flinched at his words. I hadn't meant to embarrass him. I didn't mean to hurt the one person who loved me and had done so much for me. Maybe school wasn't that important. Emmett did have more than enough money to last us a lifetime and he was more than able to afford our lifestyle.

He sits on the edge of the bed with his face in his hands and I crawl over to him and place myself between his legs. I kiss him on the top of his head and I apologize. I tell him that I'm sorry and that I didn't mean to upset him. He looks at me, the intensity in his eyes made me shrink back. He says nothing as he stands, towing over me as I stay on my knees before him. He takes off his clothes until there's nothing shielding his beautiful body from my sight. He tells me to stand up and strip. I obey him and quickly discard my clothing until I'm as naked as he is. He kisses me roughly and tells me to lay down on my stomach. Again I follow his orders like a good little solider, resting my head on the pillow and placing my arms underneath it. I can feel him as he climbs on top of me. He kisses his way up my back until he reaches my ear. He whispers that he's sorry but I still have to be taught a lesson. I have no idea what he's talking about until he forcefully enters me without preparation. I scream out in pain and free my hands from beneath the pillow, bringing them towards my back, trying to push him away from me. I beg him to stop as he pants heavily into my ear, his voice harsh and venomous. He declares that he owns me, that I will be punished every time that I disappoint or disrespect him. He tells me that no one will ever love me as much as he does. He then threatens me, telling me that if I try to leave him he will kill me and the authorities would never find my body. At that point I was crying hysterically and I could feel the blood seeping from my hole. The pain was crippling and I could no longer move. I bury my face in the pillow and go limp, allowing him to do with me what he pleased while praying that this nightmare would come to an end soon. He came in me with a scream of my name before collapsing onto my back.

His body felt heavy and it became hard for me to breathe but I wasn't about to complain for fear of being hurt again. When he finally gained some strength he laid at my side and pulled me into him. I could feel his hot sweaty chest on my back and his heavy, large arm against my stomach. I wanted to scream and run from this place but I was scared. If I knew anything about Emmett, I knew that he was a man of his word and that he would, if given the chance, follow through on his threat to kill me if I even thought about escaping him. So I laid there in his arms and cried myself to sleep.

Two days later he tells me that he has a surprise for me. He says that he loves me, and that we were going to be together forever and since he didn't want me to have to worry about money, or having to pull my own weight, he asked me to marry him. He wanted me to remain in the house, taking on the role of being a "kept" man. And like the fool in love that I am, I said yes.

One month later we got married in small ceremony with a few friends and our family members there to support us.

That was six months ago and things have only gotten worse. I have been beaten several times but yet I can't leave him. Part of it is because I'm afraid of what he will do to me if I tried to leave him, the other part is due to the fact that no matter what he does to me, no matter how badly he treats me, I still love him. I know that every time he beats me and apologizes and tells me that he loves me, he's lying to me. Maybe I just love the way he lies. Maybe I've loved him for so long that I don't know how to be without him. Should I just throw our love away? Some would say that I should but I can't. I won't. Not yet. Not until I know for sure that he's lost to me forever. So for now, I will stay and endure because I love him that much. This may be a sad confession but it's the truth.

In fact, as I fill you in on my mellow drama, my now husband has come home from a night out with the boys, drunk and yelling my name.

"Jacob! Jacob! Where the hell are you? You better not be fucking anyone in my bed you whore! Is it Mike? Is he up there with you? Has he found you again? Does he know that you're mine now? Answer me Jacob! Don't make me have to come looking for you!"

I close my eyes and try not to cry. I knew how this was going to end. I pick myself up from the living room chair and come out to face him.

"I'm not sleeping with anyone beside you Emmett. You know that I love you and I would never let another man so much as touch me."

He smiles at me and staggers over in my direction before roughly taking me into his arms and kissing me. I flinch, tasting the alcohol on his breath. It was disgusting but I knew better than to pull away from him.

When he finally brakes the kiss he pulls my hair, my head snapping back until I'm forced to look up at him.

"And if you know what's good for you, you never will." He smiles.

"Now go upstairs, take off your clothes and stick that tight ass of yours up into the air for me." He says releasing my hair and slapping me on the ass.

I walk up the stairs with him close behind as I take off my shirt and toss it to the side as we enter the bedroom. I then shed the rest of my clothing before climbing onto the bed, getting on all fours, and waiting for him.

I grip the sheets and brace myself for what's to come. On other nights, when he wasn't angry with me, sex with Emmett was wonderful but when he was drunk or angry he didn't give a shit about my pleasure or comfort. He just cared about hurting me and getting off.

He entered me in one swift thrust and I muffle my screams with the pillow. He pounds into me fast, hard and deep. I could feel every bit of him stretching my hole and shredding my skin, the friction and that lack of perpetration making me bleed, a feeling that was sadly becoming familiar to me. It didn't help that he was nine inches long and two inches thick. On most days that was a good thing but not today. Today he was Eric not Emmett. A while ago I had created a way for me to distinguish the man that I loved from the bastard that enjoyed hurting me. So I gave his alter ego the name Eric and right now I was on the receiving end of a lot of pain thanks to him.

"Yeah, that's it, take every fucking inch baby." He moans as he slams in and out of me.

"Tell me that you love it. Tell me how good it feels to have a man like me inside of you."

I try to hold back my sobs and slow my breathing in order to answer him.

"I love it baby. You feel so good. Please don't stop." I say as he speeds up, nearing his end.

I grip the sheets harder. It felt as if someone had poured liquid fire into my ass as I scream.

"Oh God." I say begging him to take away my pain.

It's amazing that no matter how many times we make love, or how many times he roughly takes me, that I never get used to the feeling. It always feels as if my hole goes right back into a virgin like tightness whenever he's done with me. It's torturous. At least on the days where he takes his time it feels nice but not today. All I want is for him to finish with me so the pain will lessen. It never goes away until two or three days after an attack like this, but at least it slows down to a dull ache.

For that much I am greatful.

I feel as if I'm about to pass out when he finally comes inside me, his hot liquid shooting into my body. When I know that he's done I collapse onto my stomach and turn away from him. I don't want him to see me crying. Lucky for me, he's too exhausted to talk or to even apologize for being so rough. Instead he lays his head on my shoulder, throws his arm across my back and covers both of my legs with one of his, trapping me, before he falls asleep.

I gaze into the moonlight just beyond our thin curtains. It was full and bright and illuminated everything in the room except the bed where Emmett and I lay together. I find it ironic that we were in the only area of the room that was covered in darkness. Maybe it was because of the way that we lived. Maybe it was because of the life that was being drained from my body everyday that Eric made an appearance. I don't know but one thing was for certain. I was either going to pull Emmett from the darkness, or drown in it with him.

The choice was mine to make.

I just hope that when the moment presented it's self, that I would be strong enough to choose wisely…


End file.
